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A Brutally Honest Review of Justice League The Movie

When you, as a person with the ability to influence society/culture, use your position to gratuitously sexualize something that has proven (or not intended) to not be so you are in the wrong.

There is so much they could have done with this movie, but let’s just sit back and let Superman handle it cuz he’s the only one that counts, I guess.

A summary of Justice League:

  1. Batman, no.
  2. WONDER WOMAN, KICK ASS, GURL!!
  3. Sexualized shot of Amazonian SKIMPY ASS ARMOR…
  4. Sassy Barry is sassy.
  5. Gross CGI Cyborg is gross and does not belong here.
  6. Protect Barry plz, thx.
  7. Don’t do dumb shit.
  8. Audience member (me) makes Fifth Element reference.
  9. Go away, Cyborg, no one likes you.
  10. Aquaman yelling.
  11. Bruce is a dick.
  12. Where is Hawkgirl?
  13. More Aquaman yelling.
  14. Bruce Wayne is an asshole.  Had that coming.
  15. Gratuitous shot up Wonder Woman’s skirt.
  16. Pretty sure Marvel has made… like 80 BILLION movies about HOW NOT to get a team to work together… maybe Batman should WATCH ONE OR TWO AND PICK UP SOME TIPS.
  17. Audience member (me) makes LOTR reference.
  18. Punch shit.
  19. More punching shit.
  20. Sassy Barry.
  21. PET CEMETARY.
  22. Joke about Batman not having powers.
  23. Martian Manhunter would have handled this shit.
  24. Punching shit.
  25. Bruce is a dick.
  26. More punching.
  27. DON’T HURT BARRY
  28. Wonder Woman is angry cuz feminism only counts if a dude allows it.
  29. Stop doing dumb shit.
  30. Sweet Lois/Clark moment is sweet.
  31. Audience member (me) makes actual Justice League reference because ZACK SNYDER MESSED IT UP.
  32. If Batman and Wonder Woman get together after this I will fly to LA and punch Snyder in the face.
  33. More sassy Barry.
  34. More Batman having no powers jokes.
  35. Audience member (me) takes back every bad thing she said about Aquaman ever…
  36. Superman GODMODS the F out of this scene.
  37. DON’T HURT BARRY
  38. Just… let Wonder Woman handle this.
  39. If… wonder Woman can defeat the LITERAL GOD OF WAR, how come she can’t handle this shit?
  40. Superman continues to GODMOD.
  41. Superman GODMODS and wins the day, screw the rest of the Justice League… they’re just here to look pretty.
  42. Booya!
  43. Sassy Barry VS Snarky Superman

Screen Shot 2017-11-18 at 11.27.27 AMI came for Wonder Woman, was angry about sexualization, left happy because Barry Allen is precious and is my new favorite Flash.  As far as DC movies, they did a pretty decent job… just… STOP SEXUALIZING WONDER WOMAN.

This was a decent movie and LOADS better than stupid Batman VS Superman (which, lets be honest, was just a long and very expensive Wonder Woman trailer).  Honestly, could have dealt with more female members of the Justice League, but, hey, I guess we ladies are only supposed to “Look damn gorgeous” (quote from Aquaman because salty Kay is salty) and wait for Superman to save us.

2 thoughts on “A Brutally Honest Review of Justice League The Movie

  1. I’ve not seen it yet, and you just confirmed everything I had been thinking – that Wonderwoman is (on nerd paper) more powerful than ALL of them – why does she need help? Also – yeah – Superman (when pushed) is just as powerful – using “GOD MOD” to describe his impact made me laugh out loud. Batman really is just a nutter with toys.

    Like

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