life

The Meditations: On Direction

I am sitting here; at my once-pristine-but-now-stained-and-splattered-with-the-remnants-of-artistic-adventures desk, and contemplating life (as I am wont to do on such rainy days as this).

By living my life just a bit more socially (as well as online) than I have since Papa passed away I have come to the stark realization that I’m stuck.  I look at all the things I want to do and somehow they all resort to happening… tomorrow.

This is a dangerous mindset: tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the day where everything great will happen!  I’ll start to lose weight, get better grades, ask my boss for that raise I’ve wanted for the last 11 years, get my portfolio finished, learn a new language…. Tomorrow is the worst of the mindsets because it puts the pressure of responsibility on something outside yourself.

I’ve made my decision: no more time for anyone who could care less about me, no more effort for the things that do not make me happy.

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